PS Alfred, I Love You
by AroPeterWam
Summary: Arthur and Alfred have been together for the longest, but when Arthur dies of a sudden tumor, Alfred looses all hope to ever be happy again. Until one day when he receives a letter from Arthur addressed to him? Based on P.S. I Love You : UsUk PruCan slight FrUk GerIta Spamano RoChu and more?
1. Speak American

_"I bet you've had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that. I know what it is, not to feel like you're in the room, until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his." _

_-P.S. I Love You_

* * *

"Gee Arthur, why are you so mad?" A sapphire eyed-man bellowed as he slammed the door to their small flat, in the ever busy New York, New York.

"It was what you said, you insufferable _git_!" A shorter emerald eyed-man, otherwise known as Arthur, yelled from across the room.

"What exactly did I say then?" The other retorted while trying to pick up the pillows and shoes Arthur was throwing in his direction.

"You know what you said! And more, how could you say that to _your _mother! Your _mother_, you arse!" Arthur took his shoe off and threw it at Alfred who ducked, used to his partners temper now after so many years of dealing with his better half.

"All I said was, that you weren't ready to adopt, since you are really stressed and that we can't really afford one until we are ready to own a bigger apartment with three bedrooms. What's so wrong 'bout that?" Alfred was really puzzled why it was wrong for him to say that.

' _It was the truth_. _It's not like we don't want a kid'_, because they did want one.

"Exactly, you jerk! It's because you made it seem that _I_ was not ready for one, and that _I_ can't handle stress. She probably thinks I am a good-for-nothing heartless guy."

"Babe, she got over that like a year ago when you decided to stay home and watch the kids during our Family Christmas Dinner." Alfred nonchantly reminded him of how much his mother detested him. One, because they got together really young, and two, because she thought he really was a 'good-for-nothing heartless guy' who wanted to destroy her precious 'Alfie'. Which, right now, he probably does.

"So you admit it!" Arthur stomped across the room to the bathroom and angrily brushed his teeth, glaring through the mirror at Alfred who stood glaring back.

"I don't know why you are so mad! I just said the truth, I am sorry, next time I'll lie to my _mother!_' He yelled taking his shoes off and unbuttoning his shirt.

"You daft! Don't lie to your mother!" Arthur rinsed his mouth and took his shirt off, preparing for bed.

"Well what do you want me to say?! 'Oh hey mom, I am not supposed to tell you, but Arthur isn't ready to have a kid, but I am supposed to lie and say god knows what!'"

"Arse whole, you know I want a kid, but not right now because we have a plan! Not because I don't want one, you bloody jerk!"

"Stop talking in your damn English! We are in _America, _speak American!" Alfred slammed the door on his way out, not bothering to put his shoes on. Arthur stood there, with tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He walked over to the bed on the other side of the room and pulled the covers back, laid inside. He quietly turned the light off and decided to sleep despite the silent tears running down his cheeks and the cries he was most certainly not producing. And not secretly hoping for Alfred to him.

* * *

Alfred felt guilty for yelling at Arthur like that but, sometimes he did not know what his Arthur wanted to hear from him. Did he want to hear the truth? A lie? Or did he want to hear Alfred make a fool of himself?

It doesn't even matter why anymore, since Arthur right now doesn't want anything to do with him...

"Alfie?" A barely audible whisper pulled on his sleeve at the entrance of their flat building.

"Oh, hey Mattie." Alfred didn't really want to talk to his brother at the moment, instead he would want to rather bask in his guilt.

"Listen, um, I think you should talk to Arthur more. Don't try to be anyone else but try to be yourself and speak your mind. I'm pretty sure that Arthur fell in love with you because of who you _are_, not who you _should_ be. Good night." With that, Matthew winked and walked away out of the building. Alfred didn't know where his brother went to after the whole family dinner at his mom's place.

_'He sure is one odd little guy.' _Alfred, against all odds, went back to his flat and quietly opened the door, since the lights were off.

"Arthur?" He whispered, hoping for a reply, but instead he heard sniffling from the bed.

Alfred tiptoed over to the bed and silently, he silently got in the covers and wrapped his arms around Arthur.

"I'm sorry love, I-I didn't mean to-" Alfred kissed Arthur's head and shushed him to calm him.

"Baby, it's OK, we both were douches. I am sorry. I didn't mean anything. I am sorry I told my mom that, I know it was personal and just between us, but..." Alfred trailed off hoping he caught Arthur's attention.

Arthur snuffled and turned to face Alfred.

"But?" He rested his head on Alfred's chest.

"But, I just wish that we could already have a place of our own and a family, ya know? I want to wake up in the morning in our house, with a flower garden and cat lazing around the house. I want every waking moment of my life with you next to me and with maybe someone who will call out 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' when they have a nightmare or when they want to hug us or call our attention. Babe, I want our lives to start." Alfred rambled on and on and Arthur began to cry some more.

"Babe-" Alfred was caught off guard when lips smashed onto his.

"Mrmmrmhm~" Alfred tried to speak. He pulled away to catch his breath but a string of saliva connected them both.

"Arthur-"

"Shh, love, just stop talking." Arthur climbed on top of Alfred and deepened their kiss, tasting the tears and the booze lingering on their tongues.

Arthur sat on Alfred's lap, sliding his hands around Alfred's chest. Alfred turned over so he could hover over Arthur and little by little, remove the clothing that separated two. Alfred starred down at Arthur and saw the want and lust in those beautiful green, emerald eyes.

He saw his world.

* * *

**OK well, sorry to disappoint with with the Smexy scene, I am not all that great at writing that part.**

**Um, I finally saw **_P.S. I Love_ _You _**and I cried like a little baby! ;-;. I don't know why, but this popped in my head and I was like all sad so yeah. Ummm, I am not sure if I want to follow the whole movie format, because you see, that is not right to take credit for other peoples things (BTW Hetalia belongs to **_Hidekaz Himaruya_** ) and Obviously the movie wasn't by me. But I am gonna make this differ from the movie, but have the thing of the letters the same, but not like in the movie! *justconfusedself* **

**Please Review, that would really make my day! **


	2. Birthday

_"What a luxury it was for people to hold their loved ones whenever they wanted."_

_P.S. I Love You_

* * *

The bar was filled with many people Alfred had remembered seeing at some point in his time. He remembered the music, the candles, the shot glasses, and the pitiful looks people gave him when they thought he was not looking.

Alfred sat next to his mother, Amelia, and they shared nothing but the glace of understanding between the two. Matthew sat down next to him with Gilbert, along with Kiku and Yao. He saw many of his and Arthur's friends in the rows of the bar, all staring at a frozen picture of Arthur giving one his rare genuine smiles, next to a shrine shot glasses on top on it.

After everyone had sat down, the Father stood in front of everyone ready to start the service.

"We all knew Arthur had a genuine heart, even if his attitude was the absolute worst. Ever." He received light giggles and nostalgic smiles.

"Even though he is not here anymore, he lives with us all. I believe that Arthur is in peace, with the love he has received by his loving husband; he did not die alone and bitter. I mean, look at this beautiful shrine he had his husband design for him." Alfred nimbly caught on to the things the Father said about Arthur. He had to admit that the pastor was spot on with Arthur's personality.

After the Father motioned for the music to cue in, _"Wish You Were Here",_ by Pink Floyd. It was one of Arthur's favorite song, but for Alfred it felt as if Arthur was there- just for a second he felt him. But as quickly as he felt him there, he no longer felt him there.

Throughout the hour, people would pour English Beer and make a silent toast to Arthur and then turned the empty shot glass upside-down. Alfred was glad no one reminisced with stories about Arthur. He felt if someone did, he would truly believe that Arthur would no longer be there with him. He refused to let him go just yet.

The atmosphere changed quite a bit when Dylan, Arthur's brother who was raised in Wales, arrived with a luggage and hugged Amelia and Alfred. Dylan filled his shot glass, and held a long staring gaze towards his younger brother, and flipped it upside down with a loud smack.

After that, Alfred didn't want to keep track anymore. With every shot he took, he noted one thing about Arthur that he loved: his pride, his eyebrows, his accent, his shyness, his stubbornness, his sarcasm, his emerald green eyes, the way he would hold onto him, the noises he made with Alfred, his laughter- everything. He loved everything about Arthur. Amelia, Matthew,and Dylan decided to take Alfred back to his apartment after everyone left. Alfred wanted to stay longer to help clear out but his mother and brother-in-law were spot on stubborn.

_**3 weeks later**_

_"Past the point of no return,"_ Alfred started to stand up on the couch holding the remote control in his hand as a microphone.

_"No backward glances,"_ he dramatically glanced backwards over his shoulder.

_"Our games of make-believe are at an end,"_ he steps one foot at a time off the couch.

_"Past, all thought of 'If' or 'When'"_ he walks towards Arthur's shrine.

_"No use resisting_

_Abandon thought and let_

_The dream descend_

_What raging fire will floor the soul_

_What rich desire unlocks it's door" _Alfred had been singing at the top of lungs not taking any notice towards the people at his door staring him.

When he noticed them, he stopped singing with his control, paused the TV and stared back at them. It was a few unsettling seconds until someone spoke up first.

"What's that smell?" Gilbert asked behind Matthew.

"This place is a mess!" Amelia chirped before Alfred had the chance to respond. His apartment had been over-runned with takeout food, dirty dishes, and scattered clothing.

"Well-"

"Seriously, it really stinks!" Dylan began to pick up the trash around the house.

"Ok, don't do that!" Alfred took the trash out of his hands all defensively.

"I'm not, I'm just re-arranging the trash." He took the trash back and went to the kitchen a few feet away.

"But that smell," Feliciano pinched his nose.

"All right it's me! I haven't showered," Alfred screamed, annoyed by the people in his house.

"What are you guys doing here anyways?"

"It's your birthday," Matthew showed the balloons while Gilbert tried to find a place to put the cake.

"Go shower, while we clean here," his mother nudged him to the bathroom and turned to face everyone else. "All right troops, let's do this!" At that moment, everyone had no doubt she was Alfred's mother.

Alfred looked at himself in the mirror and flinched at the sight and smell. His blonde hair was oily, his face really was beginning to remind himself of his teenage years, and the smell around him was not at all anything like flowers. He was wearing a white button up shirt, no pants, and Arthur's suspenders. He had on Arthur's scarf around his neck breathing in Arthur's smell and made no motion to take it off.

After ten minutes of just standing there smelling Arthur's scarf, he took a shower and admittedly felt good about it after he stepped out of the shower.

His apartment was different. The trash was away, the dishes gone and dried, and the scattered cloths had been folded on his bed.

He sat on the couch in front of everyone around him. His mom, Matthew, Gilbert, Kiku, Feliciano, Ludwig, and Dylan; they all sat around him, with the balloons touching the ceiling and the cake on the coffee table.

"Alright!" Gilbert lightened the mood. "Time to have some cake! Al, if it doesn't taste good don't blame the awesome me; I didn't choose it. I just picked it up." Gilbert opened the cake box and stared confused at the cake's inscription.

_**Don't eat the entire bloody cake all alone. It is polite to share.**_

_**Happy Birthday Love, **_

_**Forever Yours- Arthur**_

Alfred's face dropped, so did everyone else in the room.

"What is this?" Alfred glanced at Matthew who was just as surprised as him.

"Did you do this?"

"No," Matthew stood up to peer at the cake more.

"Matthew, did you do this?" Alfred's voice rose a bit more.

"I had nothing to do with this!" Matthew stood up defensively.

Gilbert walked towards Kiku who ripped something out of the lid of the cake.

"Here," Kiku gave Alfred the odd recorder, and read the note.

_"To Alfred, my insufferable git whom I love 'til the ends of this earth.- Arthur."_

Alfred was staring at it really skeptically, and it wasn't until Kiku finished reading the note that he pressed play.

_"Hello Alfred,"_ Alfred began to tear up at the sound of his husbands voice.

_"I know you are probably wondering how I organized it, but trust me, it is too genius for you to understand, so don't bother with trying to find out. I have arranged for letter and signs to come at your way starting tomorrow, since I figured you haven't even stepped out of here for other than a burger. So, to save you the trouble of spending time with your mother-"_ Alfred giggled.

_"Oh, she's probably there- Damn it... Hi Amelia!"_ Amelia smirked and walked into the kitchen getting plates and utensils, trying to ignore her son-in-law.

_"Sorry,"_ Arthur's voice turned apologetic_, " But seriously Alfred, you need to go out with the guys. I hereby declare you free of watching __The Phantom of the Opera__, and, as you would say 'Start a riot!'."_

"No I wouldn't" Alfred mumbled.

_"You're right, you wouldn't. Your idea of a riot is a shopping spree at McDonalds, off of the $.99 menu."_ Arthur's voice responded, knowing his husband so well.

_"Gilbert, make a list." _

"The awesome me is on it!" Gilbert stood up with Feliciano and Dylan behind him excited for a fun night ahead of them, with Ludwig mumbling under his breath over wanting to go to for beer.

_"And take care of him-scratch that, Kiku, please don't let them go wild. I don't want them waking up at the police station tomorrow morning." _

"Hai." The petit Japanese man responded.

_"Alfred, love, it's Fourth of July, have fun, get drunk, and remember, you're only 27 once. Go have fun for me. P.S. I love you."_ The recording stopped leaving a nostalgic atmosphere in the air and in Alfred a loving and sad feeling.

* * *

**OK I love love love love Gerard Butler. Like seriously, when he was in the **_**Phantom of the Opera, **_**I about lost it with his epic voice! I swear, I was like singing with Alfred, except no one was home so I did not have to worry with people walking in on me. Well, I feel bad for the neighbors who have to put up with my voice! *^* **

**Have I ever said that Texas is HOT!? I swear, Americas glasses are freaking hot that I hate going outside. , But Texas is beginning to grow on me like seriously. ((I Could do without the heat though.)) But just two more years and then I am off. I thought about adding another scene here but I was like "nope" I shall just update without adding much. *evillaugh* hahah :) Anyways, so ok, should they go to a gay bar like in the movie or just go to some random bar and hit on girls? *winkwink* Seriously though, I thought if they went to a gay bar it would be too cliché and stuff because they already are and are not girls... so, yeah. What is your intake on all of this. By now I am probably annoying you all with this rant, so yeah a review would be heavenly. **

**I Like Unicorns... Which happens to be the official animal in Scotland. But, if you were madly in love with someone for like 5 years of marrying them ((and obviously before that)) and they died, how do you think you would be like after the funeral and their death? Since we already saw what Alfred was doing, I am curious to know about you people out there. **

**OK Aro is does talking ((typing?)), laters! **


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